2001-12-13 - 9:52 PM
Inescapable #8
Life sucks - I mean, we have to go down the damn elevator if we want to go outside. We can't just be outside. You know?
"Well, from this day I promise to never overanalyze my relationship with her again. I’ll leap off the cliff and only look up at the shrinking skyline, refusing to acknowledge the inevitable jagged rocks below."
- Patrick Allocca (in his journal - entry concerning his girlfriend)
^ Yes, Pattycakes made a quote that jumped out at me like a monster from the closet. Thing is, it's a great quote with everything - with all of overanalyzation. I love it. Thumbs up to ya, Pats.
Paper Magician: hmm. i'm reading about people who believe they're dragons
Paper Magician: there's a whole frickin community out there
Paper Magician: it's crazy
lLyricalCloudl: speakin' of which
lLyricalCloudl: just read ur latest entry
lLyricalCloudl: like tao
Paper Magician: tao is good
Paper Magician: i dig it
Paper Magician: do you know about tao?
Paper Magician: haha, that sounds like, " do you know about tyler durden?"
lLyricalCloudl: haha
lLyricalCloudl: the general definition of tao...or the tao of something
Paper Magician: ?
lLyricalCloudl: the universal force of the world...or the tao of something
Paper Magician: basically. but tao can't be "grasped by mere words"
lLyricalCloudl: yeah yeah yeah
Paper Magician: it's undefinable, it's everything, it's everywhere, yet it can't be comprehended
Paper Magician: weird stuff
lLyricalCloudl: the force
Paper Magician: actually, i only like his lessons on living a simple life
lLyricalCloudl: i wish i could live a simple life
lLyricalCloudl: i seriously wish i could stop right now...live in the country or something
Paper Magician: bro, same here
Paper Magician: i just want to go live in a desert oasis forever, and never be bothered by the world again
Paper Magician: i swear, it just gets worse and worse the more "progress" happens
lLyricalCloudl: life just sucks...i mean, we have to go down the damn elevator, if we wanna go outside
lLyricalCloudl: we can't just be outside
Paper Magician: i hear ya bro
Paper Magician: i really really do
Paper Magician: trapped in technology, in a way
lLyricalCloudl: it's not just technology...fuck technology..........society - get a degree, in order to get a good job...go through school to get a degree...once you get the job, you have to work at it the rest of your life...until 3 years before you die, when you can actually stop working and reap the benefits of what you sowed
lLyricalCloudl: we're wasting our lives to get to an end that's not even guaranteed
Paper Magician: this is why fight club hits me right in the middle, cos its the same exact sentiments you just named, and the same ones i figure
lLyricalCloudl: most people die before they get to that age anyways
Paper Magician: this is why i don't want to go to college anymore
lLyricalCloudl: seriously
Paper Magician: i know. why can't the people who are smart enough to realize how bad society is just be allowed to do what they want?
lLyricalCloudl: with the time u waste on college...u could be perfecting your writing...or u could be out experiencing life, so you have shit to write about
lLyricalCloudl: with the time i waste...i could be doing something with myself too
Paper Magician: let the bozos who can conform conform, and let the rest of us go
lLyricalCloudl: all that happens to me here, is die
Paper Magician: i know!!! shit do i know!! man, i wanted to just travel this year, have adventures, gain something to write about
lLyricalCloudl: ME TOO!
Paper Magician: why don't i? cos if i'm not in school, i don't get health insurance
lLyricalCloudl: i want to live life
Paper Magician: health insruance!!! what the fuck??
lLyricalCloudl: not sit around on my fucking thumb and be called a failure
Paper Magician: i know. and being a failure is my own damn fault
lLyricalCloudl: me too
Paper Magician: cos i'm not man enough to take responsibility for my own life and do what makes me happy
lLyricalCloudl: i could be passing all of my classes
lLyricalCloudl: but school just annoys me, i can't do anything here
lLyricalCloudl: i really can't
Paper Magician: i know. i go to class and think, "what the hell good would htis ever do me? it's not even part of my major"
lLyricalCloudl: i'm in class...i long to be out...i'm in the dorm...i long to be home
lLyricalCloudl: seriously
Paper Magician: i don't have a major, i just know the subjects aren't going to be in it
lLyricalCloudl: college has become exactly what it wasn't meant to be
Paper Magician: and tha'tll be MORE wasted time
lLyricalCloudl: college in olden times
Paper Magician: yeah, you're supposed to grow. to find out who you are. i'm being PREVENTED from finding out who i am and wha ti can do
lLyricalCloudl: was nothing but a place where you can round yourself out
lLyricalCloudl: if you wanted to
lLyricalCloudl: now it's required
lLyricalCloudl: if you want to eat when you're older
lLyricalCloudl: a mcdonald's job won't do
lLyricalCloudl: u need to go to college to be like...an executive for mcdonald's
Paper Magician: nope, you don't
Paper Magician: it's all bullshit
Paper Magician: it's all some scheme for someone else to make money
lLyricalCloudl: our society is too fucking hellbent on standards
lLyricalCloudl: labels that say "normal"
Paper Magician: fuck standards
lLyricalCloudl: college is normal
Paper Magician: let's make some damn new ones
lLyricalCloudl: if not college, military
Paper Magician: fuck college, fuck military
lLyricalCloudl: people sneer at those who don't go to college and just start off with life
Paper Magician: fuck institutions of any kind
lLyricalCloudl: i'm tired of society's snobby attitude
lLyricalCloudl: esp. america
lLyricalCloudl: EXCLUSIVELY america
Paper Magician: yeah. i haven't been outside of america yet at all
Paper Magician: but i know more and more i'm turning from ALL america's and western thinking and thinking the eastern philosophy is more with it
lLyricalCloudl: we're the only fucking country with stupid shit like bulimia and all - bulimia...caused mostly cuz girls are shoved in the face with images of what you're supposed to be...the normal teenage girl is this..........we're a wasteful society
Paper Magician: and what we waste is life
Paper Magician: and soul
Paper Magician: and heart
lLyricalCloudl: we waste our own people...and i'm not even talking about physically...we burden our own country with depression and all
Paper Magician: for plastic, fake shit
lLyricalCloudl: the eastern philosophies are fucking right on
lLyricalCloudl: not japan and shit
lLyricalCloudl: what's become of them
lLyricalCloudl: used to be such a spiritual country
Paper Magician: anyone who admits that "life is suffering," such as buddha, has more respect in my book than anyone
lLyricalCloudl: now they're just as fucked up as we are
lLyricalCloudl: in some cases, even more so
Paper Magician: now they're in the damn free market too
Paper Magician: i'm talking tibet
lLyricalCloudl: yes
lLyricalCloudl: tibet
lLyricalCloudl: india
Paper Magician: those two are the main ones in my mind
lLyricalCloudl: half of china
lLyricalCloudl: the non-institutionalized parts of the philippines
lLyricalCloudl: that's the shit
Paper Magician: shit, western thought is quickly killing any sense of spirituality
lLyricalCloudl: in tibet and india...you work to get by...you work to support society...not here...you work b/c it's a necessity to our society...you work to get your health insurance, cuz we murder, pillage, fuck if we have hiv, and spread std's...you work so that people don't look at you weird
lLyricalCloudl: all this extra shit that our society has on us
lLyricalCloudl: all this shit needs to be stripped away
Paper Magician: you work because of that stupid "invisible hand" of self interest
Paper Magician: shit, it cna't be stripped away
Paper Magician: you ask me, america's hopeless
lLyricalCloudl: it's like...the world started off a statue...then the pieces added on...now we're a boulder
Paper Magician: any seriously industrialized nation is hopeless
Paper Magician: too much progress
Paper Magician: which is why i dig tao. it's all about getting back to the way things were, the essences of perfection in simplicity
lLyricalCloudl: that whole thing about "things are said best with least words"...same damn thing, we need simpler lives
Paper Magician: this is bullshit - you're considered a "whole" person when you have a car, a house, 2 kids, are married, usually twice, and have a shitload of appliances you don't need
Paper Magician: our hands are being kept clean - we no longer have to dirty them to wash dishes, do laundry, anything like that
lLyricalCloudl: i can't stand society
Paper Magician: the misery of life is being pulled over our eyes by hollow innovations we don't have a say over
Paper Magician: i can't either
lLyricalCloudl: yet nowadays...you can't live without it all...and i'm ashamed...i'm a hypocrite
Paper Magician: shit, same here
lLyricalCloudl: i talk about simplifying things...owning things i don't need...
lLyricalCloudl: i'm on a fucking computer
Paper Magician: when a letter would work as well
Paper Magician: but it's gotta be instant communication now
Paper Magician: no time for patience
lLyricalCloudl: definitely
lLyricalCloudl: before i go on, i have to say that i'm the biggest hypocrite of all...which is what most people think about themselves anyway
lLyricalCloudl: but seriously, everything i say...i wish for...but i'm not doing anything about it
Paper Magician: no, most people don't thnk they're hypocrites
Paper Magician: most people think they're perfect
Paper Magician: wise people know they're not, and they're hypocritical because they still act like it
lLyricalCloudl: nowadays...we need to be from here to there in an instant...car, train, plane, taxi...God forbid we walk a block
Paper Magician: it's fucked up. society molds us into assholes
Paper Magician: but bro, what can you do anymore? what can you do to stop society from being what it is?
lLyricalCloudl: God, i picture "society" as an ugly fat man...who's telling the world to be exactly what it is
lLyricalCloudl: NOTHING...you can ostracize yourself...banish yourself from society
lLyricalCloudl: but nobody will go with you
lLyricalCloudl: and wherever you go
Paper Magician: i picture society as a smiling football star, who has as much substance as an empty glass
lLyricalCloudl: somebody owns the land you run to
lLyricalCloudl: and they kick your ass out for not contributing to society
Paper Magician: yeah. . . how can you retreat into the natural world like sages of old did, when it's all owned by someone???
lLyricalCloudl: see?
lLyricalCloudl: the world is fucked
lLyricalCloudl: we're on a downward spiral into the can that society flushed
Paper Magician: this is why i want to travel
Paper Magician: i need to find a place where it's not this bad
Paper Magician: or at least find people like you who know where i'm coming from
lLyricalCloudl: yes
lLyricalCloudl: sbs
lLyricalCloudl: haha
lLyricalCloudl: we all come from sbs
lLyricalCloudl: God, you, me, john, and patrick
lLyricalCloudl: we're on the same wavelength
Paper Magician: you know though
Paper Magician: you could go up to anyone and talk about this
lLyricalCloudl: we all wanna fuck society
Paper Magician: and they'd agree and say, "oh yah, i hear ya man" and then turn around and say, "lunatic"
Paper Magician: you can never tell who else thinks it for real
Paper Magician: although i can tell you do
lLyricalCloudl: yes
Paper Magician: shit bro, let's search for meaning
lLyricalCloudl: with the passion of a billion supernovas...i want society to kiss my sweet and succulent ass
Paper Magician: who cares if there is no meaning, the least we can do is look
lLyricalCloudl: indeed
Paper Magician: you know what the real evil is
Paper Magician: money
Paper Magician: cos without it, you can't do shit, not even if the purpose is to avoid it
Paper Magician: you can't even avoid money without money
lLyricalCloudl: definitely
lLyricalCloudl: money - a standard
Paper Magician: you're not judged on who you are as a person, you're judged on net worth
lLyricalCloudl: definitely
Paper Magician: psh
Paper Magician: fuck it
Paper Magician: and fuck it most for being practically inescapable
lLyricalCloudl: it's like death
Paper Magician: it really is
^ I'm sorry that some of this seems hard to follow - you know how online convos go.
